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ForeverJoy Designs

little boy lost

If you have been following my drama you know my big guy, Ryan had spent a large part of the summer getting ready to try out for his Freshman football team.  The kid never played football before- but got this stuck in his head and really went all at it. He worked out and trained with his dad almost every day. That was the first step. At the risk of sounding like a Freudian momster- you need to know that Ryan and I have always been close. I got him. I understood. I was the one who could motivate him, and make him feel better…. my husband is truly an amazing Dad- but when the going got tough, Ryan came to mom. Hello 13. Suddenly, Dad is the man. They have funny secret codes of eye rolls now to indicate I am out of my mind, or on the war path, or just a emotional mess. I get weepy with joy at happy little milestones and they crack up AT me. They are “the guys”.

 It’s all good- I’ve read the magazines- now is the time in a teen boy’s life that he will become closer to his Dad or the male figure on his home… I get it. But, the secret I will share is that it hurts just a little. Because there is no rewind. Little boy lost. No more crumpled dandelions in pudgy fists or rocks and sticks collected with love and care and picked just for me. No more days spent with happy bliss in the park sprinklers….High school is starting in just a few days. He’ll be going on the bus, and stepping into a wonderful and hard and amazing time in his life. So many lessons to be learned. Steps to be taken. And many are in a direction away from me. The college that seemed a forever away really has to start becoming something we begin thinking of. I watch the moms with their teens shopping for Dorm gear and just stare at them hard…wondering. Doesn’t this hurt? Isn’t their heart breaking? How in the world do you do this? *sigh* I have some time… but I can see him turning towards life, towards the real world, and a little away from me.

Yes we are still wonderfully close. And he still comes to me for the pep talks and heart to hearts. He hugs me every morning and every time we say goodbye…. and I find that these days, I give him an extra squeeze because I know how very precious and numbered these days are. I know, but will never let on, that this is the beginning of a long goodbye to my little boy… and really only can bear the heart break by looking hard at his face, and trusting the young man I will be saying hello to will bring joy to this mama in a different form of childhood dandelions and stones….

 

 

 

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12 Comments

  • Reply
    SharonS
    August 25, 2012 at 7:36 pm

    Ryan's childhood is passing by but as he heads into adulthood, the foundation you have obviously provided him with will keep you close. My son is now 30 and I couldn't be prouder of him, although those teenage years were no walk in the park. You will come out at the other side with an amazing young man at your side!

    All my best,
    SharonS

  • Reply
    SharonS
    August 25, 2012 at 7:36 pm

    Ryan's childhood is passing by but as he heads into adulthood, the foundation you have obviously provided him with will keep you close. My son is now 30 and I couldn't be prouder of him, although those teenage years were no walk in the park. You will come out at the other side with an amazing young man at your side!

    All my best,
    SharonS

  • Reply
    rennemarie
    August 25, 2012 at 8:09 pm

    Thank you Sharon… I get so much strength and knowledge for teen survivor moms! LOL 😉 I am buckling up for the teen years- and thank God I still have my little Liam to keep me enjoying childhood.

  • Reply
    rennemarie
    August 25, 2012 at 8:09 pm

    Thank you Sharon… I get so much strength and knowledge for teen survivor moms! LOL 😉 I am buckling up for the teen years- and thank God I still have my little Liam to keep me enjoying childhood.

  • Reply
    Heather T.
    August 25, 2012 at 9:41 pm

    *sigh* Now I got all teary-eyed… Big hugs to you sweetie!

  • Reply
    Heather T.
    August 25, 2012 at 9:41 pm

    *sigh* Now I got all teary-eyed… Big hugs to you sweetie!

  • Reply
    rennemarie
    August 25, 2012 at 11:49 pm

    Thanks Heather 🙂

  • Reply
    rennemarie
    August 25, 2012 at 11:49 pm

    Thanks Heather 🙂

  • Reply
    diatplan
    August 26, 2012 at 3:40 am

    good comment

  • Reply
    diatplan
    August 26, 2012 at 3:40 am

    good comment

  • Reply
    artistsyl
    August 26, 2012 at 11:12 pm

    Oh wow, this is how I am feeling about my boy starting 6th grade tomorrow, I will be a basket case by his freshman year LOL. Your layout is so nice the way you flowed one image to the next.

    [Hugs}

  • Reply
    artistsyl
    August 26, 2012 at 11:12 pm

    Oh wow, this is how I am feeling about my boy starting 6th grade tomorrow, I will be a basket case by his freshman year LOL. Your layout is so nice the way you flowed one image to the next.

    [Hugs}

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