ForeverJoy Designs

Staring at Ceilings

I have been offline for a few days.  Funny that it seems like a forever as I check emails and catch up on the to do list.. time has a way of being relative- one minute can pass too quickly while other moments can yawn like they will never end.
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About 2 weeks ago- I had a checkup- I was feeling absolutely bone dead tires- and wanted to be sure all was OK- so I had a blood test which led to an Xray, which led to a  a CT scan.  Each visit, I would lay on the doctor’s table, my own thoughts of worst case scenarios only interrupted by the loud crackle of the white paper on the table. I’d stare up at the overhead light and think, how stark it was.  How cold.  And how scared I was.  I hated those lights. The only time I was online was after everyone was asleep so I could get a crash MD course to see what all these test results meant….  and you know what? In the middle of this all, one night, I looked at the stack of “to scrap” pictures on my desk and thought with dread at all the stories I had yet to tell because I didn’t have the “right” ribbon or paper. I shut the computer off.   I made 4 layouts that night. I told a few stories, and felt a little better.
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Our stories should not wait for the perfect showcase.  They are the showcase-  the rest is just frosting on the cake.  Years from now, I do not believe my son will say, “Gosh- mom should have matted that with a blue- not brown….and where is the threaded button on this page!!?” Nope.  He will look at the photos, read my words and see straight into my heart.  That’s all that matters.  To scrap true.  Sure to scrap beautifully is nice too ;)- but that’s really for us, right?  That’s what gives us satisfaction as artists.  Maybe sometimes we should just remember that we can wear both hats- and not always at the same time- and that its fine.    Anyway….my final test came back fine and we are satisfied that the xrays were bad- and the results of the CT scan look as if I have nothing more to worry about.  Thank God.  Truly.  I thank God.  I was scared- but saw so clearly my priorities.  And while many may think it absolutely absurd that I stayed up one night scrapping for hours- I think you can understand why I did.  Scrappers are more than paper cutters and pixel pushers- we are storytellers.  And sometimes telling the story can be just as much of a gift as hearing it.  🙂

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