no and yes.

We are fully settled into the lazy days of summer here- and I really love it. I love that the schedule is loose enough that laundry can wait a day or two and my calendar has a stretch of blank boxes one after the other.

I work hard to keep it like that. I have to actively schedule the down time. The way I figure it, with Ryan being 13 and Liam being 5, there are only a few summers left when I will have two boys.

In truth, this may be one of the last. High school has a way of titling life away from silly boyhood things and leaning into a more independent teen life. So for now, if I can take them for a hike, or to play laser tag or to a museum and they both actually want to go- well, I’ll make sure to clear the calendar for that.

I got a call today from the American Bar Association. The woman on the other line extended an offer of 4 months free membership- no obligations. No payment- just my consent. It was a great deal. The ABA has a pretty hefty membership fee- but they offer tons of resources and training materials.

The call came on my cell when I was out in the yard watching the boys in our pool. They were having a “jumping” competition. Ryan was making waves in the pool so big that Liam was almost knocked out twice. I laughed way more than a prudent mom would have.

I listened to the sales pitch and thought about it for a second. Periodicals, web site, Continuing Ed program- all available for the next 16 weeks- it was an awesome deal! I took a deep breath and said, “No thank you”. The woman on the other end began to explain that this was an amazing offer- but I interrupted.

I said, ” I’m going to be honest with you. I’ve taken a break from my Practice this summer. My kids are getting big, and I know that if I say yes to you I’ll start to lose my focus. I have to work hard to keep my eyes on them, because I know that once I blink, this will be over.”

She was silent. Then she said, “I don’t know you ma’am, but that is wonderful. Do it. My son is 23. I miss the mess. I miss the horseplay. It’s gone. Good for you.”

We said goodbye to each other and I wondered for a moment if that was a call from that angel of mine who helps keep me on course. Helps me see the short years through the long days.